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The Inside Dope

The Inside Dope image
Parent Issue
Day
5
Month
February
Year
1976
OCR Text

THE INSIDE DOPE
BY
IFFY THE DOPESTER

Greetings, my friends, and welcome to another generous helping of the only SUN the Motor City has seen very much of lately. Maybe it would help us all slide through these icy winter months with less wear and tear if we kept in mind that the Spring Solstice is but another six weeks away, and it's all downhill from there.

A little further on up the road, we can all look forward to the wonderful Michigan Primary in May, when we 11 have the happy opportunity of picking our favorite horse in the Presidential run for the roses. It looks more like a turtle race from here, though, with Jerry Ford and Ed Muskie outdoing each other in their respective "State of the Union" messages last week.

Jerry, waving a large Bicentennial flag, proclaimed his desire to "keep the money in the private sector, where it can do the most good,' especially in the pockets of the defense contractors. Ed could have seized the time for the Democrats, but he kept talking about the GOP's "incompetence," "inefficiency," and so on. After a lifetime in politics, would not one begin to suspect that Republicans tend to act in the interests of the class they represent?

Feeling somewhat less than uplifted by this spirited dialogue, we decided to check out the Channel 7 News - we had heard that "Once you've seen them, it's hard to watch anything else."

After watching for a few minutes, we couldn't help but say, "Amen, brother!" and switched the set off before things got worse.

Not only couldn't we watch anything else, we couldn't eat, drink, or move for several minutes. Finally, we recovered our bearings and decided to try the radio.

There, on station W4, much to our amazement, was the same 1947 - style spot for the Detroit News that they've been running on TV, minus the chubby newsboy. But John Phillip Sousa and his band were there, backing up the chorus: "You haven't read the paper, until you've read the News!" Sure was a rough segue from that spot to David Bowie. Is that how one captures the "youth"

Well, everyone knows the Free Press is' the "Action Paper" anyway. We'd certainly rather see another groovey iron-on transfer, or even a Freep roach clip, than more of the kind of incisive journalism our morning paper offered the day before busing started.

While three groups of irate parents were telling everyone to keep their kids home, the Freep ran the results of a poll under the head "Busing plan is supported by only 1 in 5." Reducing the issue to less than its rudiments, as usual, the inquiring reporters asked those surveyed whether they thought Judge DeMascio's plan was (a) good or (b) bad.

That was on page one. On page 14a, if you got that far, the writefs admitted that "no conclusion can be drawn from the survey about what parents.. .think about DeMascio's busing plan." It seems 80 per cent of the "scientifically selected sample" had no children in the Detroit school system.

Thanks, fellas, for your timely contribution to the cause of racial harmony in Detroit.

Now, if the dailies really wanted to score some points with their younger readers, they might consider climbing on the bandwagon and exposing a few CIA agents in these parts. Counterspy told us the Company isn't going to indict them for the murder of Richard Welch, so it's OK. After all, at least 40 spooks in Rome, 60 in Madrid, and 1 8 in France have had their cover, blown already this year. Besides, Iffy would sure like to know who's who in the Motor City so we can check to see if they've entered the Win a Pound of Colombian contest! 

In all seriousness, before we depart, we must mark with pride the return of SUN cofounder Gary Grimshaw to an active capacity on our production staff. Motor City veterans will remember Gary's unparalleled series of posters from the Grande Ballroom on.