Love It To Death

LOVE IT TO DEATH

The Food and Drug administration announced recently that a candy product called "Love Beads" has been implicated in at least 15 nonfatal poisonings of children, and has been ordered off the market.

The product consists of about 85 multi-colored beads plus a candy medallion bearing the slogans "flower power" and "flower child." They're strung on elastic and sold in ten cent packages.

They contain a high amount of cadmium, which is a highly poisonous heavy metal. Effects from eating the beads, which are imported from Hong Kong, include a near loss of consciousness, severe stomach pains, vomiting, drowsiness and mental confusion. A reaction takes place as soon as ten minutes after the candy is eaten.

The beads, some capitalists flash scheme to profit off our culture, are bought mostly by kids and college students. The FDA reports that it's entirely possible that some stores are still selling the product. So look out. . .